Mediocre Mama
Hello, my name is Tanjanae, and I am a mediocre mama.
I wear many hats, I am a mom (co-parenting), a licensed social worker currently practicing, grad student, and an entrepreneur of a very new business. I spend my days switching through my roles tackling many responsibilities. I am not a do it all mom and (or) a supermom. In fact, there is nothing super about me. I’m more like a supermom’s sidekick. I lived the life of trying to do it all and to be honest, it is pretty exhausting.
My motto: I don’t have to do it all, and can still have it all
Taking into consideration that I live a pretty busy life, I excel at being a mediocre mama.
6 Ways on How I Became a Mediocre Mama
1. Leaning on my tribe: I created a tribe of close family and friends I can depend on whenever I am in a pickle. My tribe helps me navigate my stress. I lean on my tribe for different things such as emotional support, babysitter, friendships, and advice.
2. Set realistic goals: I set realistic goals and allow myself the flexibility to complete my goals. When faced with large goals, I break them down to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. As a mom, tasks, and goals are continuous. I’m not afraid to delegate a low priority task to help me accomplish the larger task.
3. Set little or no expectations: I remove expectations from things I cannot control. For example, my 2-year old’s behavior. Having little to no expectation reduces my stress. My son and I had a photo shoot at the park. For those with toddlers, you know the challenge. Before the shoot, I told myself I will be satisfied with two decent pictures and that if I did not get 2 decent pictures I will work with what I had. The results of the photo session were great and I received more than what was modestly expected.
4. I gave up being perfect: I used to think that everything has to be perfect or damn near close. Aiming for perfection is exhausting and takes away from the wonderful experience of motherhood. I’ve stopped comparing myself to other mothers. I cannot cook a homemade dinner every night, and my house is not always spotless. Malik still loves his mediocre mama probably more now that I am not consuming my time cleaning up small messes while in the midst of playing. Now I am present in all the mess.
5. Mediocre Worker – I am mediocre at work too. I rarely work late and I believe I do not have to stay late to prove work ethic. When I am at work, I am present and I leave work at work. Office work has no place in my home. My home is my sanctuary and my energy at home belongs to myself and my son.
5. I am a BIG advocate for self-care: I understand that my wellbeing is important and I need to care for myself. I make it absolutely certain that I schedule routine self-care practices. Not just pampering but mindfulness of my physical, mental, and emotional needs.
My mediocracy does not affect my
work, and the connection and Love I have for my child. It just simply a switch of pace. Understanding that I can do everything, but also understanding I don’t have to.
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